What I didn’t tell you is that I have been alone for nine long months.
Nine months managing my household for the first time in 12 years – without family within driving distance to come and rescue me on those rough days.
What I didn’t tell you is that I thought I would love my time and revel in it. Who doesn’t want to control the remote?
But, there are of course the children who control all. So, the joke was on me with that one.
What I didn’t tell you is there were days I was barely keeping my head above water and all those years of talking the big game didn’t always come down to a solid execution.
For nine months I learned what it was like to be a single-mom. Perhaps not in the truest sense of the word considering I had an end to my discontent and struggle, but it was a lesson in fortitude nonetheless. It was a lesson in “I guess I kind of like that guy around afterall”
I kid. I always liked him around.
What I didn’t tell you is that I saw some of the worst versions of myself during this time. This was our first separation with all three kids, it was our first nearly a year separation. It was the first time I was working, managing three kids alone, buying a house, doing the taxes and all that fun stuff.
Fine, I brought the house purchase on myself…perhaps that could have waited….
…but I digress.
So here we are at the end and I’ve realized that while I saw the worst of myself, I also made it through. I managed. Perhaps not the way I would have hoped with positivity, grace, and strength throughout the whole experience, but we made it!
Being a military spouse is no joke. We serve too, in our own way. And, as my oldest would have said back when she was in preschool, “It’s a BIG job!”
I’m glad we’re done for a while.