Focused on the Flaws #ShareYourLife

I walked into the kitchen one morning, after just having been sleeping, my hair was pulled back, my eyes were still tired and I had just spent several minutes inspecting my dark circles and bags being frustrated that I have those already at 33, when my husband remarked, “You are SO beautiful.”

My response?

“Ugh but I have bags under my eyes and I can’t seem to get rid of these dark circles even though I’m getting more sleep.”

“Well,” he says, a little defeat in his voice, yet I could tell he was trying to remain upbeat in an effort to help me focus on good things, “and you’re still so stunningly beautiful even with those things….I’m a lucky man!”

God love him.

You see, I spend most of my days living simply. No fuss, no muss. Some days are stretchy-hair band kind of days and others are glasses kind of days.

I do try to dress nicely, throw on a bright scarf and some lip-gloss, but it has gotten to the point that I keep it pretty casual because I work from home and yoga pants while sitting at my computer is so much more comfortable then getting all dressed up.

But, then I Instagram photos of myself like this, because it’s really the only way I get into photos with my kids…

and while I zero in, first on my adorable, dimpled little sweetheart…it is immediately followed by a sad sigh over those bags under my eyes, dark circles (which were there before Instagram saved the day with a filter) and essentially I ruin this lovely moment with my child.

Take this picture….

I took it several times to make sure the dark circles were less visible (in my opinion) and the whispy hair was tamed…ultimately taking away from the goal of the photo – to capture my new favorite scarf which always brightens up my day and tweeting out a little ditty to share with friends.

Why am I so focused on my flaws?

Why must we women do this to ourselves?

It’s a shame because I know better. I know that I have always wanted to age gracefully. I know that those lines on my face mean I’ve lived and those circles and bags come from waking with those babies sleeping upstairs and eventually, I’ll get more sleep.

I also know that occasionally, I clean up nice too.

It’s a shame that we moms focus so much on our flaws. I know you’ve done it too.

I saw this little image the other day that said, “Behind every GREAT kid is a mother who’s pretty sure she’s screwing it up”

So, I shared it on a Facebook page I manage (only a few short days ago) and to date, it has 33,381 shares – we only have 33,820 likes on the page, so that gives you an idea just how much that statement resonated with moms everywhere.

It was funny, we all feel this way, but the truth is, sometimes we’re SO focused on our flaws, we forget to see how much we’re doing right and we’re so focused on the bags under our eyes or the big creases in our foreheads that we forget we’re still beautiful, and that we do, in fact, get better with age.

Who wants to go back to some of our fashions of years past? Or the hair?

So, I’m trying to work a little harder to embrace my age, and until I can manage more sleep – find a quality under eye concealer.

 

Share a part of your life with me and Sharon from Mom of 6 and link it up. We love making new friends!


 




Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

(330 Posts)

15 thoughts on “Focused on the Flaws #ShareYourLife

  1. Jennifer E

    So I just found out I need reading/distance glasses. Talk about feeling old. I used to prize my perfect eyesight and now I feel like crying if I’ve been on the computer too long. Oh the beautiful days of our youth (when we thought we were fat). Hang in there, and clue me in if you find a great under eye concealer.

    Reply
    1. Nicole
      Twitter: MTDLBlog
      Post author

      I’m still looking for a fab concealer, but I will let you know! And, I miss you my friend. Moving to Bahrain…unsat my friend! XO.

      Reply
  2. Alison
    Twitter: AlisonSWLee

    Nicole, I know what you mean.
    I took a selfie yesterday with my camera, and instead of seeing my smile (which was kinda awesome), I saw my no-makeup face with the freckles, the eyebags, the messy eyebrows, and thought to myself, I’ll never show anyone that photo!
    We really need to try and see ourselves through the eyes of those who love us.

    PS: You ARE beautiful. :)

    Reply
    1. Nicole
      Twitter: MTDLBlog
      Post author

      My eyebrows are always going rogue! LOL…But, yes, I agree…I also feel compelled to remind myself to not be so harsh on myself because my daughters will watch my every move and I certainly would love to avoid passing this habit onto them…here’s hoping!

      Reply
  3. AnnMarie

    I responded to you on FB but wanted to respond here as well. This is a great topic and one I am working on for this week. I went out this weekend and not liking the way I look didn’t take very many pictures. I did, however take about 20 in the same pose trying to get it so that my hair looked right, my arms didn’t look like ham hocks, my double chin didn’t show. I found one out of the 20 and posted it on my blog and got a few compliments. It is always nice to get compliments and I sooo appreciate them but it would be even nicer if I could see what they see when look.

    Reply
    1. Nicole
      Twitter: MTDLBlog
      Post author

      I look forward to reading your post – it was hard to hit publish on it, but I knew I wasn’t alone in how I felt. This is definitely a universal thing with women that I wish we could overcome. I will most certainly keep trying!

      Reply
    1. Nicole
      Twitter: MTDLBlog
      Post author

      Thank you for being so kind…I do hope that is what my daughter will see in those pictures one day as well – that we are both glowing and the memories we shared were the only thing that mattered.

      Reply
  4. Arnebya
    Twitter: whatnowandwhy

    You’re pretty damn hot.

    I don’t know why we do this to ourselves. I’ve found myself disliking myself in photos but liking me in the mirror. I’ve decided my camera is an asshole (but I still haven’t published any of those pictures.)

    Reply
    1. Nicole
      Twitter: MTDLBlog
      Post author

      You are too kind. And, I think my camera has it out for me too – the smart phone cameras don’t do me any favors.

      Reply
  5. Pingback: {Share your Life} Toddler Valentine’s Cards with Toilet Paper Roll | Crayon Marks and Tiger Stripes

  6. Stephanie @ CMTS Blog

    Oh Nicole, how I can relate!! This is one of the reasons I started my blog! We mommys fill our heads with ‘stinkin thinkin’ and we really have to change that for ourselves, for our family and our kids. I wrote a post about this and there is a book I am about to read called “No More Perfect Moms” by Jill Savage that is all about this topic. While I normally don’t share posts in my comments, I feel like I should!! Just know you are not alone girl! Lots of us mommies feel this way, but we really need to fix that!!

    http://www.crayonmarksandtigerstripes.com/437/im-an-imperfect-mom-and-thats-ok/

    Reply
    1. Nicole
      Twitter: MTDLBlog
      Post author

      I love that term “stinkin’ thinkin’ – I definitely need to get out of that mode of thought for sure! But, it feels good to put this out there and not feel so alone in it. Thanks for sharing your thoughts – I’ll pop over and read your post – I love the title already! It’s ok not to be perfect!

      Reply
  7. Emily

    I just found your blog and I feel like I was meant to read this today. I have been struggling with this so much lately. In the past couple of weeks, I’ve noticed that my jaw line is starting to slacken. I can see the beginning of old lady jowls. I’ve had dark circles since I was a young teenager – how unfair is that? – and now they are joined by the beginnings of crows feet and a left eye lid that is sagging way too much for my age. I’m going to be 27 next month. I’m a stay at home mom of one – my 1 year old boy Drake – and I do live in sweats and ponytails. This evening as I was fixing dinner – a really delicious dinner, too – I caught a glimpse of myself in the kitchen window and called to my husband, “Honey, I’m sorry I’m such an ugly wife.” I actually said that. I can’t believe I said that. I want to be better than that. I want to age gracefully, as you say. But I don’t know how to. I find myself staring in the mirror wondering when we will be financially secure enough for me to “take care” of these developments on my face. I want to be a better example that that for my kids (I hope to have several more) but I don’t know how to begin to break the cycle of negativity in my own head.
    I think I might have just word vomited on your comment section a little bit. I’m sorry. But I was just really glad to find someone thinking about and struggling through the same things today. It’s been on my mind a lot.

    Reply
    1. Nicole
      Twitter: MTDLBlog
      Post author

      Oh Emily – I’m so glad that you shared your thoughts…it’s part of the reason I put this all out there because I know it’s something we all struggle with and it’s such a shame. I think the important thing is to continue working on staying positive because there are lovely things about us, in spite of what age might be bringing. And, you know, aging gracefully doesn’t mean we don’t have to get a little help with some under eye concealer or good face cream. :-) But, I do think I get better with age in other respects, I know myself better, I’m more confident than I ever was as a teen even though I tend to have these days of glancing at my aging self in the mirror. The confidence comes from knowing what I want, feeling like I’m in the right place and also knowing my worth. So, I guess I just have to keep focus on those things and stop nit-picking the physical, because I do feel like each year, I get better in many other areas of my life. So, there’s that. And now, I’ve rambled – so we’re even. :-) Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me! I’m so glad you found my little place here.

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>