Women are bitches.
I said it.
I’m a nice person…..and even I am not nice at times.
Here’s the thing that concerns me most…..are we “REAL” friends to each other? Think about it.
Are we are best versions of ourselves when we are with our girlfriends? Our worst? Or a mix of the two?
Here are three situations where I think we “girlfriends” need some work.
Braggy-Braggerson Be Gone.
How often do we try to one-up the other with the accomplishments of our kids?
We’ve all done it.
For me, more recently, it’s been difficult because I am on the other side of the milestone-hitting-phenom of a child. I have a significantly delayed child, so every braggy-braggerson (is that a word?) moment with friends who have kids of comparable age is actually really difficult at times. Especially when their kids are surpassing my kid by leaps and bounds.
It’s not that I’m not happy for you….because I am. It’s just the constant reminders have become difficult for me. Parents of delayed children often feel as if they’ve done something wrong even though logically we know it’s the nature of our child’s situation.
So, let’s talk about other things too, M’kay? Let’s balance the conversation a bit. Perhaps you can tell me about the latest great book? Or the fabulous new kid toy you picked up? Even better, let’s chat about the latest celebrity gossip!
Balance is key. Because real friends do celebrate the milestones of our children, but not to the point of bragging incessantly.
Inappropriate Sharing and Personal Jabs.
How many of you have have found yourself in a situation where a “friend” has shared something extremely personal about you in the company of others?
I honestly thought the catty-nature of women would be left in the doors of my high school. The funny thing is, for me, it was for a long time. College was a refreshing change of life. And then I became a Mom. And then came the playgroups. And then came the groups of women trying to find a renewed sense of self and those who have decided to go about it by bringing down those around them.
I am SO not a fan.
I am also not perfect in this area but I try REALLY hard not to do it. I try to be the friend I want to have. And you should too.
The Golden Rule applies outside of grade school.
Make time for Girl Time.
Making time for our friends is important. It balances us out and reminds us that we are more than our careers or our kids. When we get caught up in life the first thing to go is often our friendships.
Life happens. Kids re-focus our attention. Marriage becomes the priority. Tragedy changes us.
What happens to our friendships when these things happen? How do we keep the same bonds alive?
How do these girls…..
Maintain the bonds they have created over the years?
I’m not gonna lie.
And being a military wife has been a blessing and curse for me when it comes to friendship. A blessing because look at all of these wonderful women who have touched my heart. I feel so blessed that I was able to spend time with each and every one of them. They each have an inner beauty that is uniquely their own. Each of them as the gift of laughter, light and openness. Each brought a piece of them to my life and changed it forever.
Which is why it’s always so bittersweet to have life take us away from one another.
But the one thing I’ve realized through the years is that real friends are always there. They don’t really go away. Real friends are authentic and kind. Real friends make time for one another. Real friends don’t hurt and make you feel poorly about yourself. Real friends hold you accountable for your actions but do it with love. Real friends help you to be the best version of yourself.
Additionally for me, my friendships have been something that have filled that gaping hole my parents left behind. Which is why I love them so. And need them all more than most.
Even when they’re bitches.
How do you stay connected with your girlfriends? Or even guy friends for that matter? And if you haven’t kept in touch, how does that make you feel? Will you find your way back or have you made peace with the nature of life as an adult with kids, a spouse and a whole life not connected to theirs?