Look for the Helpers. Focus on the Good.

It’s hard after a day like today to see the positives.

I started my day reading about a lovely family that has endured so much loss, it’s unimaginable.

My heart was so heavy. It remains heavy at this late hour.

It became even more important to me to focus on the good and to focus on my many blessings.

I decided to honor the loss that was being endured by focusing on my own blessings – I knew that was one way to honor this remarkable family and more importantly, their son.

It was like Madison knew I needed her embrace. I came upstairs, and she came running to me with so much joy on her face – her little mischievous giggle, arms wide open.  My child who can be my most worrisome with her special needs and stubborn nature, has also gifted me with such love and I feel so blessed because of that.

It’s quite remarkable just how much love my three daughters give me. I often feel unworthy.

We spent several hours today together focused on fun, which included heading out for a play date so we could be in the company of those who often bring us comfort and joy – good friends.

As I continued through my day, I was reminded in my thoughts that I need to cherish the simple gifts I’ve been given.

Silly moments with paper towel towers….

and little treasures that express love from my oldest child…

And then, refocused, refreshed, I rose from my nap with the twins (because, snuggles with them mid-day seem to be a norm around here) to the news of the Boston Marathon explosion.

And, again, my heart plunged into sadness. My mind has been fixated, and I am just SO disheartened.

So, I watch… and I zero in on all this negativity for a bit, until I then see, the helpers. And I realized, amidst this chaos caused by a few (or perhaps only one), there is still so much good. 

I saw two men in military uniform go into the area following the bombing and immediately begin to pull scaffolding and bleachers off of the injured.

I saw strangers helping strangers, people running in to the bomb site rather than away from it, trying to help those in need, without concern for themselves.

I began to focus on the helpers.

And I was touched.

Sometimes, the simplest of things say the most – I came across a quote, from a childhood gem, a man who was a part of my life for so many years as a child … a quote that helped me remember that most people are good.

I’ve been at a loss for how to tell my oldest daughter about this event – but I was reminded as I walked her into Gymnastics gym to the loud discussions of parents about the events unfolding in Boston, without concern of the little ears surrounding them, that I had to find a way.

I realized that she was going to learn how to cope with these tragedies from me, or from those around her who create even more chaos and anxiety through their discussions – without regard for those who aren’t equipped to deal with them yet.

Not only did I speak up to those mothers, as my 7 year-old sat next to me, to please, wait to discuss the unfolding events until the little ears were in their class, but I also finally found my way to helping her through this time through a simple quote.

So as you sit glued to the unfolding events, remember the little ears that are listening and remember to keep them in mind. Keep their exposure limited, but understand that they will hear about this, and it’s ok to talk about it. And, I think the above, might be the best way to put their hearts at ease during this time.

I know it did mine.

Finally, say a prayer or three. So far, that’s the number of lives lost, and there are so many more in critical care. It’s our job to continue to spread the positivity as much as we can so we can lift up those who have been devastated by this event as well as teach our children how to cope with events like this, because the sad truth is, they will happen again.

So with that in mind…

Focus on the helpers.

Focus on the good.



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10 thoughts on “Look for the Helpers. Focus on the Good.

  1. cat@jugglingact

    I do find it so very difficult to tell my 8year old about tragic events. I remember how touched she was about the tsunami in Japan and am expecting a lot of questions when I pick het up in two hours time. It’s tough to try and explain this crooked world we love in

  2. cat@jugglingact

    I do find it so very difficult to tell my 8year old about tragic events. I remember how touched she was about the tsunami in Japan and am expecting a lot of questions when I pick het up in two hours time. It’s tough to try and explain this crooked world we live in

    1. Nicole
      Twitter: MTDLBlog
      Post author

      I hope it went ok…you are so right that it’s hard. I try to share just enough information and then focus on what we can do and on what is good as much as possible. I try to shield her from the most tragic information…but it is hard to keep her from all of it for sure.

  3. Stephanie @ CrayonMarks&TigerStripes

    It feels like there is just one tragedy after another. It’s so sad. My little boy is not old enough to explain these events to, but that day will come. I do think its important to explain it to older children and to be a role model to them, as to how to cope. And to show them, despite the evil things of this world, there are still good people (helpers). And that God is still powerful and mighty and will not abandon us. Praying for those in Boston.

  4. Sharon at Momof6
    Twitter: sharonmomof6

    You are so right about focusing on the helpers. If there is one thing that we can all learn from these events- not just our kids, I mean us too- is that these events while brought on by the worst of people, are what also brings out the best in people.

    My heart too has been so heavy this week.

    1. Nicole
      Twitter: MTDLBlog
      Post author

      I completely agree. It’s so hard to know how to share these things with our kids, if we should …but my daughter catches wind of them whether I like it or not, so now I’m in a place where I’m struggling to help her keep her innocence a bit longer, keep positivity and that’s when I saw this quote and really found a way to focus on the good. So, that’s how I plan to help her when these things happen. Because, they will happen again.

      Miss you my friend!!! xo.

  5. Mindi

    Last week was such a hard, hard week. For sure emotionally draining. Good for you for speaking up to those parents. I’m sure they didn’t mean anything by it but it is so important to think about the little ears who have a hard time comprehending such scary events.

    1. Nicole
      Twitter: MTDLBlog
      Post author

      It was so difficult to make sense of it all. There is no sense to be made really. I did feel the need to say something because I had not said anything to her yet. The story was just developing and I didn’t have enough information to share accurately what had happened…I guess I had hoped it was a fluke accident, not terrorism…unfortunately….

  6. Marta
    Twitter: marta28

    I didn’t tell my children. My eldest is 6 and that still feels so young. I don’t know how to tell him. I remember when the Newton shooting happened, I was with him when I read about it for the first time and started crying. I didn’t know what to say, other than someone bad did something bad and it made me very sad. I wasn’t home when Boston happened, my children didn’t have to see me cry or obsessively watch the news/twitter. But eventually there will be another tragedy and I will have to find a way to tell them. And I just don’t know how, but will always remember to emphasize all the good even when I myself am guilty of forgetting it.

    1. Nicole
      Twitter: MTDLBlog
      Post author

      It is so tough to explain to our children that there are some people who make such horrible decisions in this world. It can be all consuming. I think it’s ok to protect them from these things too. But, unfortunately, my daughter seems to have the luck of coming across the information in school or gymnastics…it’s hard to keep her completely shielded, so I’ve found myself telling her just enough. But, she’s almost 8 and now will ask. When she was 5 and 6, she was still somewhat unaware. Hold onto that as long as you can. :-)


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